Your spouse informing you they want to dissolve the marriage can be devastating. However, you need to be extra careful about your response and the next steps you take.
Here is what to do:
Stay calm
Staying calm is not the natural response to a divorce conversation, especially if you weren’t expecting it. You may want to burst out in anger or plead with your spouse to stay. However, doing these can work to your disadvantage regardless of your goal.
Ask for time
You don’t need to give your response during the first conversation. Chances are your spouse took time to assess the matter before initiating the discussion. Thus, ask for some time to also wrap your head around the divorce as well.
Note that you need to maintain your calm during this period. Do not bad mouth your spouse or threaten to take severe measures, such as preventing them from seeing the kids or accessing the family home if they had moved out temporarily to give you space.
Hold a conversation
After taking time, you can hold another conversation with your spouse. This time, your aim should be to obtain more information about why they want a divorce, if they believe the marriage can be saved and so on. Listen to their concerns without interrupting.
Further, let your spouse know where you stand – if you want to save the relationship and are willing to go to counseling or are comfortable moving forward with the divorce.
Prepare for divorce
If your spouse is adamant about divorce or counseling helps you understand divorce is on the cards, you may need to prepare for it.
If your spouse asks for a divorce, legal guidance can be beneficial, even if you hope to save the marriage. You want to understand divorce in-depth sooner.
