Going through a divorce with children can be complicated from the word go. When telling them about the divorce, they may have questions. How you answer is crucial, as it may determine how they cope with their new lives.
Here are three questions they may ask:
Did I do something wrong?
Unfortunately, your kids may blame themselves for the divorce. They may believe their actions led to the decision. Thus, they may ask if they did something wrong. It will help to tell them the decision was between you and the other parent, and they don’t need to do anything to change it.
Who wanted the divorce?
Children old enough to grasp the idea of divorce can ask who initiated it. This can be a challenging question because your answer can determine their relationships with both of you.
It will help to stay neutral. You don’t need to lie. But also, you don’t want you or the other parent to be deemed the “bad guy.”
Where will I live?
When you inform your kids about the divorce, they will think about moving, transferring schools, changing friends and so on. When they ask about their living situation, they may be considering different aspects. Therefore, it may not be best to provide an answer that makes them anxious.
If you and your spouse have already decided, you can inform them about your plan. If not, tell them you are still discussing the matter, but they will spend adequate time with both of you.
You can expect these and more questions from your kids during your divorce conversation. In addition to being careful about your answers, consider legal guidance to make moves that are in their best interest.