Divorcing will not end your relationship entirely if you and your spouse share children. In many cases, you will still have to deal with each other for years to come.
While you may be able to live most of the time without seeing each other, one time in particular can be hard to avoid – when you hand over the kids. Handovers can be complex if you do not get along, but, as your child will witness everything, this is not the time to fight about things. Here are some ways you can minimize that risk:
Agree not to discuss things at the handover
Want to tell your spouse to hurry up and pay the child support? Need to ask why they told your daughter it’s okay to go to a party which you’d already said no to? Don’t raise these concerns now.
Schedule it at a convenient time for all of you
Some people always run late. That can lead to tension if the other parent or the child needs to get somewhere else. Try to pick a time where being late is less consequential.
Think about the location
If the thought of your ex pulling up outside your house makes you feel sick, then choose a place you feel safe. Perhaps the parking lot of a nearby store or cafe. This allows you to keep your street as an area where you feel safe. Choosing a public place can also help if your ex tends to lose control. Most people behave better in public.
If things are terrible between you and your co-parent, you may need to seek a court order to have someone supervise the exchanges. There are many options to make custody work. Consider legal help to determine what will work best for you.