When couples realize there are problems in their marriage they can’t solve alone, they may seek out help from a marriage therapist. Couples counselors are a great way for spouses to rebuild a troubled marriage. Therapy, however, can’t promise your marriage will last.
You may have been seeing a marriage therapist for some time now without any improvement to your marriage – this happens all the time. There are several reasons why therapy may not be working – here’s why:
1. Problems keep coming up after counseling sessions.
Marriage counseling can go on for weeks, months or even years – some couples may even seek therapy for their entire lives. Despite how long you’ve sought therapy, it may seem there’s no improvement in your marriage. Counseling may even worsen problems outside of sessions.
Problems that you feel were resolved in therapy may be returning after therapy. This could be a sign that there are underlying problems not being resolved in counseling.
2. Your spouse isn’t cooperating in sessions.
Therapy is often intended to be a safe place for people to open up about their problems in marriage. There may be difficulties you’re facing in your marriage that your spouse doesn’t want to acknowledge.
If your spouse isn’t telling the entire truth about their feelings or is avoiding conflicts that need to be resolved, then marriage counseling may not be right for your marriage.
3. Couples therapy was a last-ditch effort.
Many couples realize their marriage isn’t working out but try to seek out a therapist to try and fix things. Couples may consider looking into therapy because they believe it’s the right thing to do or because they have the feelings of their children to consider.
Therapists can’t recommend divorce, but some people realize that’s where they’re headed once they start couples counseling. If you realize your marriage is over, then you may need to look for someone with legal experience and consider your legal options.